| Marriage is a natural bond between a man and
a woman. It exists because of the power of the team concept.
A properly functioning husband and wife team can raise better children,
build a better career, and be of far more value to society than an individual
can.
It is like team sports, a team made up of the greatest quarterbacks would never win a game (except maybe against the Seahawks). Nor would a team of running backs. You must have differing talents for there to be effective team play, and therefore a chance to win. Every team must have a leader. In marriage the man is to be the leader. Now ladies, do not fly off in a huff about that, it is really a compliment. The world is a difficult, dangerous, and often evil place. For a man to properly function in such an environment he needs to come home to a wife who is ready to offer him comfort, not manly support. If a woman is in a high stress environment she must become more "male" in her thoughts. This will effectively remove half of the team from the household and introduce undue stress between the team members because they will both be inclined to fill the role of team captain. Lately, when I talk to people who are getting divorced they often say "We are still great friends." So I ask them "Why get divorced?" The answer is usually "Because we just don't love each other any more." We don't love each other any more? You made a promise to stay together no matter what! Besides, who ever told you that love was an automatic thing? You will not always feel like you are "in love". You may, during certain times in your lives, be simply tolerating each other. Still, you must keep your word. What else do you really have to offer anyone? Today we love to point to our children and pretend that much of what we do is for them. O.K. lets do that, did you know that most of the juveniles who get into legal trouble come from divorced families? I think that if you were to do some research you would find out that more "troubled" children come from divorced families than from "broken" homes. Heck, if our home is any indication, all homes are "broken" once in a while!!! If you really do love your kids you must stay together and at least pretend to get along. Who knows, maybe someday (with a lot of work) you will? We have read some books that have been very helpful to us (in fact we have given them out as wedding presents) here are some: For both, The Art of Understanding Your Mate by Cecil G. Osborne, D.D. Communication Sex & Money by Edwin Louis Cole For him, Man of Steal and Velvet (I can't remember the author) If Only He Knew by Gary Smalley For her, You Can Be The Wife of a Happy Husband by Darien B. Cooper For Better For Best by Gary Smalley. Good luck! I know that you have it right, are getting it right, or at least CAN get it right... |